Friday, December 07, 2007

Awake to Dream

Yipee :)

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YOUNG BLOOD
Awake to dream

By Cey Enriquez
Inquirer
Last updated 11:46pm (Mla time) 12/05/2007

At age 5, I already knew what i wanted. And I worked hard -- sometimes, even behind my parents’ backs -- to get to the goal, which at that time was to join the “Little Ms Philippines” contest on the television program “Eat Bulaga.” I nagged my mom to please, please, let me join. And every year, the default answer was, “Next year, ‘sasali ka’ [you will join it].” That was until I turned 8, and became over-aged.

So I nagged her to let me join the “Lunch Date” version instead, because their cut-off age was 8, and I could still qualify. That’s when she finally told me she didn’t really like the idea of me joining the contest. It broke my heart.

But I wasn’t a kid who just gave up. I wanted to be in a pageant, so I had to be in a pageant. In fact, I have been in more than one. There were times when my mom would suddenly find out that I had already signed up for a neighborhood contest. With the organizers already knocking at our door to confirm my participation, how could she resist? I was never “Little Ms Philippines,” but I have been “Little Ms San Roque,” “Little Ms Barangay Barangka Itaas” -- and almost “Little Ms Sambahayan.”

A part of me says I ought to be embarrassed about all this. After all, these aren’t exactly the things you write on your resumé. But if I were to live out those days again, I don’t think I’d change anything. Come to think of it, I’m not embarrassed by the younger me. Instead, I envy her because she knew what she wanted. She went after her dream, and savored every moment of it.

Until now I can still remember how excited I felt when I was put on a tricycle to parade around the streets, waving at the neighbors as I rode on my makeshift limo. For the talent portion, I donned my Hawaiian skirt and danced to the tune of “Pearly Shells”/ “Tiny Bubbles.” You should’ve seen the way I smiled as I had my picture taken with Romnick and Harlene, or when I saw Jestoni Alarcon and his curly bangs, and, of course, when I was finally crowned as I stood beside “Little Mr. San Roque,” who looked exactly like Randy Santiago’s mini-me (yup, complete with the spiky hair and mole!). As grand prize for one of those pageants, I got P300. No educational plan, no roundtrip ticket to some nice country, no showbiz contract, just that sweet P300. But I didn’t really care about the prize. I was happy just to be there.

It was never about the prize. Well, that may not be entirely true. Of course, I never joined any of those contests without wanting to win, but it was never just about the prize. It was about being there, doing what I wanted to do and knowing that I was living out a dream.

As a child, I understood better what others said about life being a journey to be enjoyed. Now, I find myself trying to re-learn to enjoy the ride, because lately, it seems, the views have started to be the same. Living has become a habit. Like when you’re traveling down the North Luzon Expressway and after you see the first 5-km stretch, you’ve pretty much seen it all. It becomes all about focusing on the clutch, the gas and the occasional braking. Nothing much to enjoy there.

It’s all about getting to the destination, but where it is exactly, I pretty much can’t tell. I may have the broad strokes of a dream -- of making my parents happy, having a great career, having my own house, starting a family with Regi, providing well for our future kids. Generic dreams. Dreams that people my age ought to have. They’re not bad dreams at all. But what I’m missing is something like my 5-year-old “Little Ms Philippines” dream -- funky, exciting, to some extent even defining.

Sadly, I’ve come to realize that I have grown old. I’ve put down the party hat and put on the cynical one. I’ve forgotten how it was like to want something really, really badly. Of not caring about what’s possible and what’s not. Of believing that I can make things happen. Of being free to want and dream of things outside of the usual.

A friend told me that maybe it’s because I already got the things I’ve always wanted. Maybe it’s time to finally be content. But we seem to have been built with this nagging voice inside us, telling us that we ought to be doing more, dreaming of bigger things. I’m not necessarily talking about winning an adult pageant (at this point, that would qualify more as a delusion than a dream), or making more money (which isn’t such a bad dream, because dreams after all, don’t come free), but something along the lines of well, say, making a difference.

If that sounds so heavy and serious, I still can’t imagine myself dying at this age and being greeted at heaven’s gate (hopefully, heaven’s gate!) with the question: “So, Cey, what have you done with your life?” What would I do then, rattle off my resumé? I don’t think God needs a copywriter right now. Would it be enough to say, “Well, I think I have been a good daughter … I think.” Or “I’ve done my best to be a good Filipino. I voted. Look at my finger!” It’s definitely nothing like, “I closed the gaping hole of the ozone layer.” Or “I found an answer to Filipino poverty.” Or “I found a cure for cancer!”

I believe that we’ve all been put in this world with a purpose to fulfill. And each of us have been given gifts as tools -- not merely to survive, but to thrive and to make a difference in each others’ lives. But at 26, I’m not sure I’ve served my purpose well enough.

Bo Sanchez wrote, quoting John Gray, “What you can feel, you can heal.” And thankfully, by writing this, I have come to face the source of my frustrations. Through the years, I have found it easier to just go with the flow of things and wait for whatever life would throw my way. I have spent much of my waking hours merely existing as best as I could that I have forgotten to make time to dream big. There may always be reasons to doubt, but I guess the wonderful thing about dreams is that you can go as far as your thoughts can reach -- beyond the doubts and impossibilities -- with nobody stopping you but yourself.

Now I take it back: I don’t think I’ve grown old, I’ve merely slacked off. Now it’s time for the “Little Ms Philippines” wannabe to get the dream machine back on track. After all, what good would these waking hours be, if they’re not spent living out a big dream?

Cey Enriquez, 26, works in an advertising agency.


Copyright 2007 Inquirer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Buying Joy

Probably if somebody were to advertise himself to be selling happiness, he'd be rich by now. After all, what's all these for really? Why do we even get out of bed, get out of our homes, go to work, deal with a whole lot of things we wouldn't even have to come to face with if we chose not to get out of bed in the first place.

Well, that's not entirely true. Because staying in bed would mean having to forego earning some moolah. And having no money entails having to face a whole lot of different issues.

So is it all about earning money then? Of course not. It's about finding joy.
Through money?

Not exactly, but partially. A few chunks more than the other components probably.

So, you get out of bed, do something else so you'd earn some money which would hopefully bring you closer to your joyous goals. Why can't it be as simple as getting out of bed and simply being happy? Some people say that happiness is a state of mind. Readers of the book 'The Secret' believe that 'inner happiness is the fuel of success' But can you have inner happiness without having an external stimuli--which you, of course would have to work for to have? Things that make you happy don't always come falling from the skies or growing from trees. But in some cases they probably do. But if you want more than occasional occurences of joy it's going to take some work. Not exactly having to look for a job, but probably more like finding your purpose. And when you finally find your reason for being, you make sure you're good at it. Then you'll be happy.

Then.

And until then, you go on living your days believing that you can make the most out of it. That you can touch as many lives even in the most mundane ways. That you don't waste any of your ticking moments to just wander the earth unaware of why you're even there in the first place. That you are looking for a purpose and that you will find it. Knowing that there is nobody out there who's selling happiness packed in a bottle; ready for consumption any which time you choose. Because happiness isn't for sale. It's free. If you just choose to believe you're entitled to it.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Surreal Sunday

I never even saw the Monty Python movie this song was from. Just viewed the clip on YouTube a few months back when I was looking for a song for an ad we were doing...Sang by a bunch of guys hanging on their crosses, under the scorching heat of the sun. They seemed to have no reason to be happy; or to be singing, but still they sang, and they whistled along:

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (from Monty Python)
Listen: LoFi | Download | Send-Card | Chords
From: A Faire To Remember

words and music by Eric Idle

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the bright side of life...


There is always a bright side. Sometimes, I guess we just don't get to see it. Because it's easier sung than done. But silly as it may sound, I can't help but wish that someone got to sing this song for a friend of mine. Whom I met again last night. In a closed casket. Amidst all the people who loved her and who thought that it wouldn't come to this.

You may not know her, but please say a prayer for her.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I will. I am.

Today, I resolve to be happy. Despite the fact that the sun has again gone hiding someplace else; despite the pain in my back, despite the things that need to be done, and issues that need to be resolved. In the same way that I had to tell myself that I will get myself from bed despite the wonderful pull of the sheets and covers, I will be happy despite the usual reasons that normally make me less than that--happy. Despite, despite, sounds so...harsh. But to be happy despite...that just feels good.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Pancake at muffin

I hate this kind of weather. Feeling ko I'm afflicted with SADs...sabi ng teacher ko nung college, apparently may mga taong apektado ng madilim, maulap at maulan na panahon. Nadedepress sila't nalulungkot for no reason at all.

For lack of a better reason for feeling like sh** lately, I'd say I have SADs. Ewan ko ba, pero di lang ako masaya. Pero sa likod ng utak ko, may boses na nagsasabing, "Ba't di ka masaya, e wala ka namang problema?" Alam ko.

Utak: E yun naman pala, ba't di ka masaya?
Cey: E ba't si Ganun mas madaming rason maging masaya. Sya masaya.
Utak: E si Ganyan kaya, mas mabigat nang todo ang mga problema kesa sayo, pero di sya kasing lungkot mo.
Cey: Oo na. Di ako masaya, pero bawal akong malungkot. Kasi, di dapat.

I call this the mid-class crisis. Di lang sa socio-economic class nag-aapply 'to e. Pati sa bilangan ng blessings. Ang hirap maging masaya kasi yung mga hinihiling mo di mo nakukuha pero nakukuha ng ibang tao. Tapos parang mali naman malungkot kasi mas madaming di pinalad na iba.

Nasa gitna ka ng mga nagpapakasasa sa saya at ng mga salat sa mga bagay na di mo man lang siguro napupuna. Sabi ko nga kay maui nun, gusto kong maging masaya, yung totoong masaya, at di lang dahil alam kong madaming mas malungkot kesa sakin.

At sa mga panahong di ako masaya't di ko matukoy kung bakit, God sticks out like a sore thumb. Sya kasi ang pinakamadaling sisihin. "God ka naman e, ba't di Mo na lang ako pasayahin. Gamitan Mo na lang ng magic."

Basta ang dami ko masyadong tanong. Pero di pa rin Nya sinasagot.

Tapos kaninang umaga pagdating kong opisina, this thought kept ringing in my head: How come things aren't going exaclty as planned? (read: bakit di Mo ko pinapasaya?)
Sakto, naglapag si Janice ng isang pancake sa mesa ko, with maple syrup drawn on top of it like a cute little sun. "Cey o, tig-isa tayo."

And it hit me once more. These little things that just make me open my eyes to the fact that I can't force Him to do things according to my plans. May rason e. Di ko pa lang alam, basta meron...At sa mga panahong di ko yun maintindihan, He just won't leave me alone.

Gaya ng panahong pagod na pagod na ko sa page-AE't iniisip ko nang di ko na talaga kaya. Saktong naglapag si Ms. Helen ng muffins sa mesa ko't sabay sabi, "Cey, kain ka muna."

Para kong batang umiiyak at sinusuyo ng magulang. Di nga lang ice cream ang dala Nya. Pancake at muffin.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

God is Bumblebee

Lately I've been asking God some questions. Not to be overdramatic about it, (they're not the 'Why God, why?!?!' types) but, well...there have been some things I wanted to know about. In the absence of an oracle or any type of medium, the radio seems to have become a substitute. For all I know, I could be making these up. There may not even be any rationale behind how apt the songs that came up were for how I felt, and the things I've asked. But it feels good to think that maybe He's trying to tell me something...if I don't want to listen to that voice in my head, heart--or wherever that hunch or glint of wisdom may come from, then maybe I'd take notice of the one on FM. How sweet of Him.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Bora bora. Bang bang bang.



Came home from sunny Boracay. And all the while I kept thinking about when to come back. Ayaw ko nang umalis sa Boracay. Sana may Leo Burnett Bora. Kung wala, sa totoo lang, pwede na kong mabuhay sa pagw-waitress dun. Tas titira ko sa fan room. O kaya, ...pwede kong magtayo ng mini-Recto stall. Magbebenta ko ng term papers sa mga bagets na nag-aaral dun na tinatamad magsulat. Mamumuhay ako sa chori burger. Pwede rin akong maging bugaw ng paraw o kaya banana boat. O kaya tindera ng aliw. Hindi yung bawal type ha. Yung makikipag-joketime ka lang sa kung sino mang malongkot at kaelangan ng kaosap. Pero malungkot ata magpabayad para sa ganung klaseng serbisyo, so erase erase na lang.

Haaaysarap. Kaso mamimiss ko ang maraming tao sa maynila. Tapos di naman ako makakapamuhay sa tubig-alat at buhangin lang. Pa'no na pag andun ako tas pasukin ang utak ko ng kung ano-ano pang pangarap na di ko naman pwedeng makuha nang walang kapera-pera...in other words, di kayang tustusan ng pagwe-waitress ko. E ano pa bang papangarapin ko kung nasa boracay na ko? Kung araw-araw parang panaginip lang. May makikita kang konting storm clouds, na biglang nawawala at napapalitan ng ibang klaseng sikat ng araw. Tas masaya ka lang. Masaya.

Baka kasi gusto ko lang maging bum. Hrrrmmm....bum. Ang sarap nun o. Hihilata ka sa buhangin, pupunta sa tubig pag naiinitan na. Palutang-lutang. Maglalaro ng mala-polvoron na buhangin sa kamay at paa. Magmumuni-muni tungkol sa kung ano-ano. Babalik sa buhangin pag nilamig nang konti. Pag nagutom kakain ng isaw o chori burger. O kaya chichibog sa smoke. Tatambay pag happy hour sa may del mar; o kaya sa gabi iinom ng strawberry shake. Sasayaw pag may tugtog. Matutulog pag pagod. Nang walang iniisip kung may client meeting ba o deadline bukas. Kung may patutunguhan ba yung ganitong klaseng pamumuhay. Kasi masaya lang, masaya. At alam mong pag tinignan mo ang magic wallet mo, bigla lang itong tinutubuan ng pera. Para bukas, tuloy-tuloy lang ang ligaya.

Sabay kakanta si Bob Marley.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Simple Pleasures

Ang sarap.
Yung tipong napapatingala na ko sa langit,
minsan napapapikit,
napapanganga pa nga't
muntik tumulo ang laway.
"Aaah...aa-aahhhhh..hmmmmm"
With matching kinikilabutan ng kaunti.
May tingling sensation crawling down my spine
(much like that feeling when you have your hair
shampooed at the salon...hrmmmm...)

Yan. Yan ang pakiramdam habang unti-unting tinutuklap nila Ria at Milette ang langib mula sa likuran ko. Produkto ng ka-shongahan dahil di naglagay ng sunblock sabay nagbilad sa arawan nang mahigit 5 oras siguro.

Basta. Masarrrrap.
Malamang makakatulog na ko nang mahimbing ngayong gabi.
Di na pabale-balentong dahil di maintindihan kung paano ba dapat ilapat ang makating likod sa kama. Kasi ganito yun...para kang may bungang araw na bawal mong kamutin o ikiskis man lang sa poste. Pwede mo lang palu-paluin para wag masyado mangati. Pero yun lang. Aaargh. At ang init pa ng likod ko.

Bukas, hinog na ang balikat ko't lower back. Yun naman ang sunod na tutuklapin. Hrrrrmmmm.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Dragging my feet

Lately, ang bagal kong gumalaw. Mas matagal akong bumangon mula sa kama. Mas mabagal akong maligo. Mas mabagal din ata ako maglakad papunta sa office. Siguro kasi mainit. Sa sobrang bilis kong magpawis, kailangan, mabagal lang ako kumilos, kundi jajabarin na ko. Pero ang mas rason, tinatamad ata ako.

Ever since grade five, when Ms. De Guzman taught us how to get ourselves excited for the next day, I've always made an effort to find something worth looking forward to tomorrow--no matter how small it may be. Well, not always, kasi minsan, parang di naman kailangan kasi parang ok lang umalis sa kama at ituloy na ang araw sa opisina. Pero ngayon, well, parang kailangang umeffort.

Anyway, I've been meaning to meet up with Maui kasi birthday nya bukas. Pero dahil ayokong makisabay sa mga ibang babati sa kanya, I chose to surprise her today. Akala ko this would be just another morning, pero habang sinusulatan ko yung tissue kasama ng Banoffee pie na dadalhin ko kay Maui, parang nag-iiba yung pakiramdam ko. And so I walked over to Maui's building.

Manong Guard: Sino po'ng kailangan nila?
cey: Si Maui po.
MG: Sino po sila.
cey: Pakisabi po si Bogart.

At paglabas ni Maui, inabot ko ang pie sa kanya, hinug ko sya, at binati ng happy birthday bukas. Tapos I saw her smile. And it was wonderful. We were so happy. Nagkwentuhan kaming sandali. There were a lot of catching-up to do, pero dahil hiram lang ang oras, kinailangan naming magbabay kagad. Pero ang weird...how a simple change in my usual morning route could brighten up the day. When I'm with my closest friends I always feel recharged. Game na game ako sa life. Parang magic.

Eto'ng weird thing sa'kin e...masyadong mabilis ang karma. Kaya nakakatakot mang-ga** ng ibang tao kasi alam kong mabilis ang kabig sa'kin. Pero this morning, I set out to brighten up Maui's day, and I went back to the office with a lot more sunshine than I deserved. And I went on my way dragging my feet no more.

Maui kept on thanking me for the pie. Come to think of it, I ought to be thanking her more. Happy birthday to one of the most wonderful, amazing, beautiful people I know. :)

It's a happy day.


Song for the day habang papasok ng office: Cool Change.

Monday, April 02, 2007

If I were to be something else right at this moment

I'd choose to be my pillow. Not a Ms. Universe answer, no profound reasons behind it whatsoever, wala lang. Para hanggang ngayon, andun lang ako nakahilata sa kama ko. Tamad? Hindi naman, baka antok lang. Nakahilata, natutulog, o nagd-daydream ng kung ano-ano. Sarap.

Pero dahil malamang mainit na ng ganitong oras, I'd choose to be something else. Siguro, yun namang unan sa sala. Para pwede 'kong manood ng tv, uumpisahan ko na yung napirata kong Friends dvd's. Kaso, kung unan ako, wala akong kamay. Di ko mabubuksan yung tv. Pati, wala akong mata o tenga, di ko rin mae-enjoy yung pinapanood ko.

Bale...I'd wish to be something else uli? Balik na lang ako dun sa unan sa kwarto ko, mas di kumplikado.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

300. 300!

Di ko naman gustong panoorin ang 300. We've been watching the trailers from Marky's computer since last year, para lang i-showcase ang ka-astigan ng speakers nya. Pero, yun na. Parang ang dating lang sa'kin nun: A, ganda ng visuals, mukhang violent. Intayin ko na lang sa DVD. Ok lang kahit di ko mapanood.

But no! Last Saturday, Regi and I watched 300...at hanggang ngayon, bumibilis pa rin ang tibok ng puso ko tuwing naalala ko yung mga scenes sa pelikula.

Ok, fine...magpapakalalim ako kunwari: It's a great film about passion, love for country, faith in the people you lead/ in your leader...uhmm...and a whole lot more.

Di ko na ma-take. I'll leave it to the reaction-paper makers to flesh out the profound meanings of this movie. But for now, magpapakababaw ako. Mygazzzz, those abs were amazing! Ok, sabihin na nating computer-generated ang VFX, pero when I saw the outtakes on youtube and caught a glimpse of the oh-so-real abdominal muscles of those men. Shoke, mula babae, naging lalake ako't (namangha sa galing nilang mag-work-out), tapos nabakla nang Over--sa ganda ng katawan nila!

Ibang klase lang si God mag-create. Kaya pala ng tunay na tao maging ganun ka-amazing ang itsura. I never thought I could stare at men wearing trunks for almost two hours! Sa Bora kasi pag nakasalubong ka ng grown man wearing trunks, parang ikaw pa ang mahihiya para sa kanya...With matching thought-balloon na ,"Sir, iyo na lang ang sarong ko, umuwi ka muna ng hotel room mo't magshorts ka para mo nang awa." Pero ito, grabe, parang kahit maglakad sila sa Ayala nang ganun lang ang suot, di ako maasiwa...well, malamang mapapatitig nang matagal. Tapos sasabihin ko sa sarili kong, "Easy ka lang, wag kang gagalaw, baka magising ka."

Wala, kasi nakakatuwa lang. Parang pang-hero na katawan, pero totoong tao!

Richard asked me how my weekend went, sabi ko ayus naman, watched 300--he should watch it too ang sabi ko. Sabi nya, "Some people said it's too violent" Sabi ko, oks lang kasi mukhang pang-comics(graphic novel pala dapat) ang treatment, kaya di ka naman mago-gross out. Sabay hirit, "And those abs were just amazing!"
...medyo may pause...
Richard: Uhm, so is there something that men can appreciate in that film?
Cey: ...
Richard: ... I meant real men.
Cey:...
Cey:...Uhm, they had good lines. Well some were good in a Hollywood kind of way, but some lines were really nice.

Panis, di ko man lang nasabi na astig yung fight scenes, galing ng interaction ng mga actors sa isa't isa (parang gusto mong maki-comrade sa kanila...although kung andun ako baka iba ang intensyon ko sa pag-akbay sa kanila. joke lang regi), maganda yung shots, basta magaling, magaling. And to think na ang bata lang ng direktor!

Pero wala akong nasabi kasi puno pa ang utak ko ng abs. Abs, abs, na kay tigas parang kaya nilang tumayo ng kusa. Di ko akalaing pwede palang magka-8 pack! Talo pa ang beer.

Inspiring film nga naman. Not only because of the 'virtues' or beliefs the movie so oh-so-passionately portrayed--na tipong after watching the movie maiisip mo, walang imposible! Kaya natin 'to! Basta steadfast ka sa iyong paniniwala't prinsipyo, hindi ka mabibigo (kahit pa-ulanan ka pa ng pana ng kalaban at mamatay ka pa) Wag nilang ismolin ang Pilipinas...sama-sama, uusad tayo't magwawagi. (well, di ko naman naisip yun, pero siguro kung gumagawa ako ng HS reaction paper isusulat ko yun) Pero I'm sorry kung ang babaw, unang thought as I got up my chair: Hanep, kaka-inspire mag-work out.


***well, yung susunod na thoughts mala--ang saya siguro ng ni Frank Miller, ni Zach the direktor, mga artista, everyone part of the prod team, to have made something so great. Sana ako rin balang araw makagawa ng ganun. Di naman pelikula, pero basta something sa life. (ayun, at magakaron ng machong katawan.)

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Nagkita kami ni Ligaya.

Wooooohoooooooo!!!!
Yun lang. Sabi ni lilit, bakit daw ang lungkot ng laman ng blog ko. Hmmm, may punto. Kasi nga naman, pag malungkot ako, mas masarap tumalungko na lang sa upuan, magmuni-muni at kausapin ang sarili ko't mag-blog, kesa ang hawaan pa ng ka-bad tripan ko ang ibang tao.

Pero ngayon, para hinding-hindi ko ito makalimutan isusulat ko na...woooohooooo! Just came from a meeting at nakarinig ako ng matatamis na salita. (Kasing-tamis ng Sticky strawberries & cream traditional handmade candies galing kay Dax.)

"I liked it, I really really liked it." Ika nga ng dalawang kliyente.

Not one, but two. Jackpot!

Woooohoooooo!!!! Kahit na ang simple lang naman nung ginawa namin. Basta, masarap masarap marinig. Wala na kong masabi. Ika nga ni Homer Simpson, (one more time! kamon kamon) Wooooohooooooo!!!!!!

*mental note: tawagan si Francis, ang CSR ng SCB na sinungitan last week. pasalamatan sya sa kagalingan nyang mag-handle ng isang mainit na ulong tinubuan ng tao at nagtatatalak dahil nalabuan sa credit card statement. sabi mo gagawin mo last week, wag mong kalimutan. pay it forward.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

On a Marchy Tuesday, 6 years ago.

What was I doing then?
Probably counting the minutes 'til dismissal. Tapos direcho na ng ICTUS Tambayan. Yung ganitong klaseng sikat ng araw, bandang hapon, can't help but reminisce about the good 'ol college days. Walang pasok bukas, kaya pwedeng tumambay nang todo. Baka pupunta ng SC para magtapsilog sa Rodic's. Merienda pa lang yun. O kaya, pupunta sa coop para mag'grocery' ng biskwit na Smiley na pwedeng i-stock sa sasakyan--para dun sa mga panahon na bigla akong ginugutom habang nasa daan (o kaya mas trip 'tong ibigay sa nanlilimos kesa barya.) Pero bago pumunta sa tambayan, siguro dadaan muna ng Lib, konting research para sa kung ano mang paper na kailangang i-submit within the week o next week. Para di nakaka-guilty sakaling mapatagal ang pagtambay at pakikipagchikahan. Siguro magkikita kami nila Maui at Eca. Uupo sa bangketa sa labas ng simbahan, pag-uusapan ang mga nangyaring exciting sa buong linggo. Pagkkwentuhan yung mga crush sa iba-ibang mga klase. Pati yung mga crush ng crush namin pagkkwentuhan din, tapos iisipin kung ano kaya yung meron sila na wala kami. Tapos sabay-sabay namin ico-console ang isa't isa with statements like, "Di bale, mas maganda ka dun." o kaya, "E sus, di naman nya type yung guy, so wala din." or "Mas payat ka naman sa kanya."
Tapos, tapos na. Magyayayaan kami pumunta sa SC uli para mag-ikot lang. O kaya pag-uusapan kung ano bang susunod na proyekto ng ICTUS. Basta magtatawanan lang sa mga kung ano-anong bagay. Mapapaisip paminsan-minsan kung yung kabag ba ng tyan dahil sa init ng semento, o sa katatawa. Mainit, medyo nagpapawis-pawis ang likod at kleks, pero oks lang. Peyups days, wala pang arte sa katawan. Basta masaya lang...kahit iniisip yung papers na kailangang i-submit, at nalalapit na finals sa kung sa'n man. Pero exciting, kasi malapit na'ng mag-summer. Wala nang klase. Pero mag-summer classes kaya tayo? Para bawas na ang load next year pag nag-thesis. Mas madaling gagraduate. Tapos pwede na'ng maghanap ng trabaho.

Teka lang, tambay muna tayo.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Rainbows End.

Yesterday morning.
On our way to work.
Daddy and I passed by Reposo.
Up ahead was a rainbow whose end fell on the Makati Cemetery.

It felt funny, weird, eerie at some point. But I couldn't help but feel thankful for the gift of perspective. As the traffic moved along smoothly, so did the end of the rainbow. No longer did the pot of wonderful gold lie at the cemetery. It moved along on top of buildings--residential now, commercial later...then onto some office buildings.

A part of me wants to write more about this. A bigger part just wants to let things be. There's no need to explain the point. For the fear of muddling the idea. Someday when I'll look back on this post I'll know exactly what I mean.

but in case I forget, I think I need to write down some keywords: death, life, happiness, finding the end of the rainbow, some things you pursue may turn out to be a downright disappointment --dreary, dreadful, frightening even. But move along and things will turn out just fine. Enjoy the rainbow. You may never know where exactly it will end, but depending on how you look at it, it could always turn out good.

There. Don't forget cey.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Meetings and Wakes

Okay. 4 years, well, almost 5 years after graduation...what will I be known for?
What makes me, me?

Ba't na naman ako nag-iisip ng ganito.
Aaah, yes yes yo. I just came from a grueling meeting. With my strength and enthusiasm once again sapped off me, I write.

Deaths...going to wakes, always put things in perspective for me. They always leave me reassesing my life. Weirdly, long client meetings have been having the same effects on me.

They do have lots of parallelisms. For one, ideas die in meetings too. Another thing is that they leave me thinking, wondering whether or not I've done enough-- Did my efforts lead to good results, or were they nothing but futile. It always runs around my mind: the thought that we're focusing so much effort, so much time, so many highfaluting words over...this.

But the reality is, it's not just soap. It pays my salary. It gives thousands of people jobs. It...it...it's not too small a deal. But obviously, neither is it that freaking big.

At the end of it all, I can't help but ask, is it really worth it?
It has to be. Because I have no other choice? That sucks. But a part of me says this measly soap plays a part in the whole scheme of things. This soap whitens, cleans. This soap employs thousands of people to make it and sell it. This soap washes dirt away from millions of people's clothes. I hope it washes this nasty feeling away.

Bottom line, this soap makes money, lets other people make money, and specifically, pays me money.

Oooooh that sucks. Big time.

So when I die, what will they write on my tombstone? Here lies someone who made some ads about a certain soap.

Goodness gracious holy bulaga.

I guess it's about time I start taking my new year's resolutions seriously. If I want to be worth something, matter, and be remembered for good reasons, I ought to start moving my bum now. Because that copy on my tombstone doesn't look too good.