Christmas, the coffee to my soul.

"We tend to withdraw our love from people who disappoint us."

That was the Homily Father Dave gave after reading the Gospel on Christ’s genealogy. Normally I would’ve just zoned-out somewhere between Abraham and…Joseph, but due to two scoops of instant coffee plus some Chips Ahoy, I was off zombie mode. And I was listening intently to what the priest was saying on what would’ve been just another Wednesday mass. Though sometimes I caught myself jittering in my seat, shaking my feet a bit, biting my lips…as if I’ve suddenly gotten too much residual energy (almost made me think the coffee’s spiked) I felt like all my senses were heightened. I was listening. I was looking at the Christmas decors, I was feeling the cold and nippy air, and I sat there, knowing that I was happy. Everything was coming through my senses and everything was being processed. Even the homily that struck me as true, poignant, and even to a point was a hurtful realization--made me, weirdly, happy. Because truth spewed out so simply, laid out plainly before my face was just nice. Whom have I withdrawn my love from? Who could’ve withdrawn their love from me? I don’t know. Well, I sort of know. Suddenly the nasty habit has been exposed. So bluntly put that it's amazing how something so obvious could all of a sudden spark a profound realization. But this doesn’t feel like the time to go on accounting for love withdrawn or deposited. This felt more like the time of simply being conscious of what’s been happening. Of the things that would otherwise have passed me by as I breezed through life on auto-pilot. Now that the nasty habit's been exposed, it's time for conscious effort to (hopefully) kick-in some reform.

Life’s too short to be spent hurting.
There’s no such thing as hopeless cases, only hopeless people.
If God Himself never gave up on us, then we shouldn’t give up on ourselves too.

Nice words from Father Dave. Things which he had already said numerous Wednesdays. For some reason, Christmas just made me feel more aware of what they meant. Set in the backdrop of lechon, chirpy people on the walkway happily spending their Christmas bonuses on gifts, Starbucks, and Christmas lunches, celebrations, and even more lechon (Cebu lechon, hrmmmm...with the oomphly flavorful meat, so tender...I digress), these words just seemed to have more of the wakey-wakey factor.

Bittersweet words--set on Christmas time, are more sweet than bitter. And they just made me feel more happy, grateful, awake to my own life.


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Don’t forget, Ceycey:
Sidenote. On this day, I finally met ‘Mang Johnny’. The nice old man who always heard mass by the doorway near GB5; and always had that ‘I’m happy to be alive, I hope you are too’ smile.

Another sidenote: I never would’ve thought that was the list’s relevance—the enumeration of names was a testament to how God won’t ‘withdraw his love’ from us. Down the line from Abraham to Jesus were people who were adulterers, dishonest, basically sinners—but from that gene pool came Christ. God ought to have been disappointed, but still, he chose to love. Father Dave Concepcion rocks.