I just came home from Cat's bridal shower.
And I guess there's nothing like spending quality time with good ol' friends to get to know yourself again. I had a mirror held straight up to my face. And the realizations are as bright as the fluorescent pink nail polish on my fingernails. Last night was a spa session cum all-nighter/early dawn catch-up. This morning, while we ate breakfast and sat at the cusp of once again entering our own realities, we held mirrors to each others' faces and saw what each of us saw in the other. After almost two decades of friendship with these people, seeing them again never fails to remind me of just how blessed I am to have such wonderful people to keep me grounded when I stray too far, and lift me up when I've forgotten who I am, who I can be, and just how wonderful life already is, just being here, now.
For some reason, getting older makes it a conscious effort to be happy. No longer am I the kid whose Saturday banig-mornings in front of the all-morning cartoons was reason enough to be elated with the 9:00 Saturday sunshine. There are things to be done, things to be flustered with, matters that can no longer be relegated to the next free day. But having the same old people telling you things as they see it, or rather showing you your colors as they see them--lets you step on the breaks and realize once again...I'm still the same person. And being happy doesn't have to be hard. Sure the morning cartoons have changed; but the reasons to be thankful for yet another new day, another new Saturday sunshine, as always, still abound.
The hollow feeling that comes with age is actually a matter of perspective and choice. Today I choose to be happy.
Reasons to be thankful for this Saturday:
1. Great great friends
2. Pink nail polish
3. A good massage
4. Un-strict hotel rules
5. A surprisingly fun Tagaytay work-trip
6. Daddy's birthday
7. Love
8. Absolut Mango
9. Boys over flowers
10. Prayer
11. Perspective
12. Life.
p.s.
God, thanks for the Christmas gift that came last wednesday.
add'l thing to be thankful for: Answered Prayers. Wedding plans are on-track. Will finally have a children's book published :)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thank you God for friends.
I just came home from Cat's bridal shower.
And I guess there's nothing like spending quality time with good ol' friends to get to know yourself again. I had a mirror held straight up to my face. And the realizations are as bright as the fluorescent pink nail polish on my fingernails. Last night was a spa session cum all-nighter/early dawn catch-up. This morning, while we ate breakfast and sat at the cusp of once again entering our own realities, we held mirrors to each others' faces and saw what each of us saw in the other. After almost two decades of friendship with these people, seeing them again never fails to remind me of just how blessed I am to have such wonderful people to keep me grounded when I stray too far, and lift me up when I've forgotten who I am, who I can be, and just how wonderful life already is, just being here, now.
For some reason, getting older makes it a conscious effort to be happy. No longer am I the kid whose Saturday banig-mornings in front of the all-morning cartoons was reason enough to be elated with the 9:00 Saturday sunshine. There are things to be done, things to be flustered with, matters that can no longer be relegated to the next free day. But having the same old people telling you things as they see it, or rather showing you your colors as they see them--lets you step on the breaks and realize once again...I'm still the same person. And being happy doesn't have to be hard. Sure the morning cartoons have changed; but the reasons to be thankful for yet another new day, another new Saturday sunshine, as always, still abound.
The hollow feeling that comes with age is actually a matter of perspective and choice. Today I choose to be happy.
Reasons to be thankful for this Saturday:
1. Great great friends
2. Pink nail polish
3. A good massage
4. Un-strict hotel rules
5. A surprisingly fun Tagaytay work-trip
6. Daddy's birthday
7. Love
8. Absolut Mango
9. Boys over flowers
10. Prayer
11. Perspective
12. Life.
p.s.
God, thanks for the Christmas gift that came last wednesday.
add'l thing to be thankful for: Answered Prayers. Wedding plans are on-track. Will finally have a children's book published :)
And I guess there's nothing like spending quality time with good ol' friends to get to know yourself again. I had a mirror held straight up to my face. And the realizations are as bright as the fluorescent pink nail polish on my fingernails. Last night was a spa session cum all-nighter/early dawn catch-up. This morning, while we ate breakfast and sat at the cusp of once again entering our own realities, we held mirrors to each others' faces and saw what each of us saw in the other. After almost two decades of friendship with these people, seeing them again never fails to remind me of just how blessed I am to have such wonderful people to keep me grounded when I stray too far, and lift me up when I've forgotten who I am, who I can be, and just how wonderful life already is, just being here, now.
For some reason, getting older makes it a conscious effort to be happy. No longer am I the kid whose Saturday banig-mornings in front of the all-morning cartoons was reason enough to be elated with the 9:00 Saturday sunshine. There are things to be done, things to be flustered with, matters that can no longer be relegated to the next free day. But having the same old people telling you things as they see it, or rather showing you your colors as they see them--lets you step on the breaks and realize once again...I'm still the same person. And being happy doesn't have to be hard. Sure the morning cartoons have changed; but the reasons to be thankful for yet another new day, another new Saturday sunshine, as always, still abound.
The hollow feeling that comes with age is actually a matter of perspective and choice. Today I choose to be happy.
Reasons to be thankful for this Saturday:
1. Great great friends
2. Pink nail polish
3. A good massage
4. Un-strict hotel rules
5. A surprisingly fun Tagaytay work-trip
6. Daddy's birthday
7. Love
8. Absolut Mango
9. Boys over flowers
10. Prayer
11. Perspective
12. Life.
p.s.
God, thanks for the Christmas gift that came last wednesday.
add'l thing to be thankful for: Answered Prayers. Wedding plans are on-track. Will finally have a children's book published :)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sweet n' Sour
Sometimes you find yourself in a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation.
And it sucks big time.
When you don't act, you end up bleeding yourself to death trying not to make the other person know how you're hurting just being there.
But if you do act, you still end up hurting that other person. Even if acting merely means moving away.
And then the song plays, "Everybody hurts, sometimes."
Yep. We hurt. As in--we ache, and we inflict pain.
At some point, aren't we all hurting. And isn't it just a matter of not looking at the wound so we wouldn't be reminded that there is a part of us that is in pain.
Sometimes I ask God, "Why don't you just give us what we want, don't you want us to be happy?"
And in my head, He says "Because I want IT to be worth it."
Cey: What's the point?
God: You've been past it several times and you still haven't gotten it? Doesn't the chocolate cake taste better when you've waited for it for such a long time for it to finally arrive on your plate--all glossy and reeking of lovely choco...
Cey: We're digressing...
God: We're not.
Cey: I sorta get Your point about things being worth it in the end--but why can't you just spare us the pain?
And for some reason, I can't continue this line of questioning because I do, sorta kinda know the answer.
Actually, it's more like I know the bottomline. Not to be preachy or anything, but I know, that He does love us.
But sometimes I can't help but wish that He'd bring Paradise right here right now, for us to enjoy while we want it. While we need it.
While the song still plays, "Everybody hurts...sometimes."
Sometimes. I find respite in that word. At least it's not 'everytime'.
Then I remember what Sheryl, a college buddy, once told me waaayyy back as I ranted about heartaches and puppy-love pains: "You're so lucky."
I was dumbfounded. But she expounded on her cryptic message, saying she'd give anything to feel the 'pain', because she only heard about it...from people who experienced stuff. Experienced, not just heard or read about it.
Pain, like the pain on my back reminds me to keep it straight.
in my tummy, tells me to eat (yet again)
in my heart, tells me I might've done the same thing to someone dear; or that I should try not to make others feel its sting.
It's a part of feeling the limbs and appendages that hang away from our heart. I'm alive, the pain says.
But shouldn't pleasure say the same thing?
And then a voice in my head says, "Remember that time when you had too much ice cream?"
Ahh.
And it sucks big time.
When you don't act, you end up bleeding yourself to death trying not to make the other person know how you're hurting just being there.
But if you do act, you still end up hurting that other person. Even if acting merely means moving away.
And then the song plays, "Everybody hurts, sometimes."
Yep. We hurt. As in--we ache, and we inflict pain.
At some point, aren't we all hurting. And isn't it just a matter of not looking at the wound so we wouldn't be reminded that there is a part of us that is in pain.
Sometimes I ask God, "Why don't you just give us what we want, don't you want us to be happy?"
And in my head, He says "Because I want IT to be worth it."
Cey: What's the point?
God: You've been past it several times and you still haven't gotten it? Doesn't the chocolate cake taste better when you've waited for it for such a long time for it to finally arrive on your plate--all glossy and reeking of lovely choco...
Cey: We're digressing...
God: We're not.
Cey: I sorta get Your point about things being worth it in the end--but why can't you just spare us the pain?
And for some reason, I can't continue this line of questioning because I do, sorta kinda know the answer.
Actually, it's more like I know the bottomline. Not to be preachy or anything, but I know, that He does love us.
But sometimes I can't help but wish that He'd bring Paradise right here right now, for us to enjoy while we want it. While we need it.
While the song still plays, "Everybody hurts...sometimes."
Sometimes. I find respite in that word. At least it's not 'everytime'.
Then I remember what Sheryl, a college buddy, once told me waaayyy back as I ranted about heartaches and puppy-love pains: "You're so lucky."
I was dumbfounded. But she expounded on her cryptic message, saying she'd give anything to feel the 'pain', because she only heard about it...from people who experienced stuff. Experienced, not just heard or read about it.
Pain, like the pain on my back reminds me to keep it straight.
in my tummy, tells me to eat (yet again)
in my heart, tells me I might've done the same thing to someone dear; or that I should try not to make others feel its sting.
It's a part of feeling the limbs and appendages that hang away from our heart. I'm alive, the pain says.
But shouldn't pleasure say the same thing?
And then a voice in my head says, "Remember that time when you had too much ice cream?"
Ahh.
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