When Negative is Positively wonderful

Monday, I got a text message from my mom saying that my sister's biopsy result turned out negative for the big C. Praise God nga naman :)

I've tried to look nonchalant, well, at least not too bothered with the scare since I went with her to the doctors last month. But there were times when I just wanted to go to the batcave and just cry. Just cry; without care about what other people would say, about what to say when they ask why, or just basta, let it all out. Not just the scare but all those things that just clutter my head and end up frustrating me and making me ask the omnipresent question, 'Why am I here?' Not just 'office' here. But more like, 'world' here. Those things which probably not even the best choco-peanut butter brownie or the most amazing chocolate chip walnut cookies couldn't drown out. Well, maybe for a few seconds, but the nagging question would ultimately pop up.
Undeniably, the answer to that question still isn't clear. It's as blurred as the rainbow that popped up 10 minutes ago. I know it's bound to be colorful, exciting...actually at this point all I can do really is hope/trust. That someday it's going to come out again, long enough for me to appreciate it fully and believe that it's real.

But for now, I would like to be content with the fact that Ate's well; the family's doing good; and life--with all its riddles and obvious but ignored facts, shouldn't be complicated. One simple test could've turned my family's world upside down. Negative. And everything's back to normal...well, semi-normal because having been forced to look at life in a different perspective still left me a bit shaken. In a good way, that is. Uncomfortable, but still safe to say, it's wonder-ful.

Happy thoughts / Anti-mundane Tuesday

Thoughts of the beach in my head.
Snippets of happy conversations from morning mates.
Mongol pencils. Sharpened and with erasers intact.
Reservation availabilities.
Approved lines.
Potentially-happy JO. (Is there such a thing? Oh, but it's a matter of perspective.)
People who just work.
Family pictures.
Planning beyond the wedding planning.
Thoughts of hot chocolate and pandesal.
Friends who stay the same/ change with you.
Memories and the ability to channel them at will.
Peter Pan.

Things I am grateful for today

It's a Friday :)

The trees along Sedeno that gives the morning walk a UP vibe.
The dogs that are just happy to be.
Mommy and daddy at breakfast with me.
Regi on Perea.
Friends that linger.
The ring on my finger.
Swiss Miss and bananas.
Positive seatmates.
Spongebob and Patrick.
Mac that doesn't crash.
Chucks.
Eheads.
Kermit the Frog.
Health.
First Friday Mass at the Enterprise.
Friday dinners.
Peanut butter!
The pimple that's gone.
The search for purpose. (although that's a bit frustrating, but it rocks my boat and keeps things real.)
Itunes. Qradio.
Autosave.
:)