Mommylove.

Dear Rayray,

Whenever I see you (especially as I stare at you sleeping with your chubby cheeks resting on the pillow and your eyes looking all the more Shaolin), I can't help but think "How could we have been so lucky?"
True, there were times when I felt so exhausted and sleep deprived.
There are still some moments when I can't help but notice how much our lives have changed.
I do miss the late night-outs, trips I could go to on a whim, basically not having to worry about anyone else but myself. There are a lot of things, which honestly, had I known before having you, I probably would have had second thoughts on whether or not I could really take on motherhood.
Thank God nothing scared me too much to back out on being a parent. Because no matter how much poo or pee or back-breaking bends to carry 25lbs up around my waist for long stretches...See, right now I can't even think of anything bad enough to merit the thought of not having had you. Nothing could ever be worse than not being with you.

You are such a blessing.
When you hold my cheek in the morning as you say, "Nana, nana."
When you turn over and ride your dad's tummy as you say "Tata, tata!"
I still can't help but feel amazed at how fast you're growing.
And baduy as it may sound, I always have this overwhelming feeling--like my heart's about to explode because it just can't contain the amount of love I feel for you.
I just love you so much. Hugging you just feels like a burst of positive energy. All my worries, frustrations, or whatever sh**ty feeling just melts away.

I thank God for you. It's amazing seeing you cuddled in your Tatay's embrace...and in that moment, I realize how that portion of our bed suddenly contains my whole world.

Always remember that you are very much loved, Anak.

*hugs*
Nanay

My life theme for 2013: The power of gratitude.

For this year I would like to make each day an exercise of gratitude. Come to think of it, I always have a way of looking at the past with a longing feeling. Wishing it'll come back. But I know that when I was there it wasn't always that good and at times I'd wish that the minutes would go much faster than is physically possible just so I could make it to tomorrow.

What's gone seems better, looking back. It's easy to be sad, when you want to. For this year, I still would like to enjoy reminiscing about the good, the bad, what's should've been forgotten, or treasured. But I'd like to consciously, spend more time being thankful for the now.

God, thank you for everything. For the gift of family, friends, words, love, and a whole lot of things I can't put my finger on right now. Thank you, for thank you.